Andromeda:
A few thoughts:
1) You don't have to apologize to anyone, especially not a stranger, for your body. Besides, if anyone does judge you negatively, so what? You'll likely never see them again.
2) Not everyone is into showing off, and that's okay. I'm a good bit fatter than you, and I enjoy showing off my gut. I wear bikinis (and not the high waisted kind) so my obese belly is on display, and that's exciting. That might not "do it" for you though, and that's okay. You can be beautiful in a string bikini or beautiful in a swim dress. Go with your comfort level!
3) if you do want to show off but feel timid, start slowly. Wear a T shirt and shorts over your bikini, then take off the T-shirt as you get comfortable. Then when you adjust to that, take off the shorts too.
Remember, you are beautiful, and the person you need to worry about making happy is the one looking at you in the mirror!
I’ve struggled with this too. There’s beaches nearby and friends are always trying to get me to go with. I don’t want to be the only one covered up, but I’m still shy about wearing a bikini. Your post helped a lot. You’re so right. ❤️